Today’s Mom Tears™ are brought to you by “All the Moms we know” and “All the moms we miss”
Well here it is Mothers Day…. Hummm; It is just another day, right? No! It is not!! This is one day of the year that brings with it an entire ocean of feelings. It is twenty-four hours of being reminded of all of the blessing’s motherhood brings with it. A time when we moms look at our kiddos and think “Hey, look what I made!!” I reflect on the joys of having seven people call me Mom. I know quite a few people and they all call me Leigh, there are only seven who call me Mom.
Today is also a day that brings tremendous pain. Listen I am surrounded by so many truly amazing women. Honestly so incredibly blessed. This past year has been one of the most difficult and the women who have rallied to my side without question not only for myself but for my gang is nothing short of phenomenal.
I have a fabulous Step-Mom who I know without doubt loves me as if I were her own. She need not remind us of her love. It is evident, always.
Still. Today, today is hard. I have no one to call Mom. It’s a funny thing but when my life hands me more than I care to share, when its too much to face, she was the one person who stopped long enough to notice something was not quite right. Hey don’t think for a second my relationship with my mom was a walk in the park. WOW could we fight!! Even in the most heated of arguments did I ever doubt that she would give her last breath for me to have one more.
I often reflect on one of the last days we spent together. My mom had been watching me I guess, when I looked up at her she said; “What’s wrong Leeker?” Even in all of her fear and pain she still was concerned for her girl. I replied with a straight-faced lie “Nothin Mom, just tired” Inside I was screaming “How am I to go on after you are gone!!!! How can you leave me!!!!” I smiled and got up to sit beside her. She knew like every mom does when something is not quite right with one of their own.
There have been many nights I have wanted to speak to her, apologize for being an ignorant teen, let her know I knew no matter how stubborn I was being (I will deny this character trait.) that I knew she was doing the very best she could, after all she too was just a girl trying to figure out where she fit into this crazy world where we all live. Almost six years later and I still reach for the phone to give her a quick call. Instead I have learned to lean in on the women who have been placed in my life.
Although I miss my mom with a primal fierceness, I am aware that giving birth does not make one a mom. The ability to love another human, accept their flaws and occasionally set them straight….that’s it.
To every woman today who loves. Who has forged a relationship with someone in their lives and rides it out through good and bad. This is your day too! Happy Mothers Day.