Today’s Mom Tears™ are brought to you by “So you are leaving me with all of this?” and “What in all that is good am I supposed to do now?”
Here it is the last day of school; a blissful two months of sun, fun and friends. Afternoons spent gazing at shapes in the summer skies, Popsicles, never ending glasses of lemon aid and millions of memories to be made.
Yet, somewhere in the distance I hear the cackling of Ozzy Osborne and the distinct beat of Crazy Train amping up in my consciousness.
Oh, Teachers why must you leave me like this? True summer waving in removes the horrid task of lunch making leaving in its wake however an all-day smorgasbord of “There’s no food here” and the oh so fun game of finding freezie wrappers form here Timbuktu.
Oh, I hear you diligent moms out there: “My children know the chores they are to do prior to going to camp” “Oh, yes! Little Johnny is attending space camp he is so full of questions and loves science” “Wee Miss Suzie Q? What a peach, she will be going to a month long intensive drama camp, with a focus on her vocals…. They are a bit weak but coming along nicely”
I just puked in my mouth a little bit.
Little Johnny will never fly a rocket if he can’t get his finger outta his nose and Miss Suzie Q has the vocals of a bag cats. As for the chores?? We all know its just part of your Facebook bio and you too are trembling with the thoughts of the monsters hounding you to death over the next two months. BUT you are one of the lucky ones my dear who can afford to ship the wee beggars off to camp after camp week after week to “enrich their minds” Which secretly in mom code means drink two glasses of a robust red in the evening because the house is quiet!!
I myself will be weeping in the shower this evening.
Chore lists around here during vacay is often met with “I’m on vacation I should not have to do chores” …… Yeah, my thoughts exactly!! I think my last holiday with zero work involved was back in the 80’s I guarantee my sister made the time off for my parents excruciating. (ummm I doubt it though, she was the good kid. I was the CEO of Complaining Inc. back in the day)
Seriously though I could not be a teacher, the degree is just a minor setback. I can barely keep a float with the goings on with the gang here let alone keep tabs on the educational and emotional development of a class room full of kiddos. How on earth do you keep it together for ten months of the year and not have them all tied to their chairs facing the wall? On top of it you have to deal with their parents! UGG!! As a forgetful, late paper signing, running to the school last minute trip paying, kids sharing a pizza card mom…. I don’t know how you do it. I have not even touched on math or sex education. Thank you for that by the way, I was relieved when the baby (not a real baby, just my baby) told me where he came from a few weeks ago….. I had no clue how he got here and his explaining it all to me at the dinner table answered a lot of questions. I am still brought to fits of giggles thinking of the look on his face.
Thank you for giving so much of who you are to the people I love most in this world.
I am not quite sure what I have done to have you walk (run) into the sunset of another year complete. I’m going to have to stock up on my chocolate supply, and perhaps a small fridge to act as a bed side table in my room. No time for sipping on a scrumptious red, I’ll be slapping back whites and we all know that it must be chilled.
…….Quiet whispers…….come back, PLEASE! come back…….